I Wanna Know If Soulmates Are Real…

This blog is just a verbal documentary of my life right?…

Well, this is something that’s been consuming me lately…

I’ve been hushed about it for as long as I can stand, but right now, I’m on the verge of leaving behind said “Soulmate” because I feel like he’s ruining my life…. and he doesn’t even know me…. at least I don’t think so.

Up until this “Soulmate” started getting revealed to me, I was under the impression that soulmates are really just fantasy things that only the craftiest daydreamer could come up with in their heads.

And don’t get me wrong, I’m absolutely a daydreamer lol, but I never believed it was a thing, and surely not something biblical.

But then….I came across him. On the internet, I don’t know him in person. And…I was just convinced that it was all true…

Early on, God burdened me, at least I thought, to pray for this guy, for specific things he’s never spoken publicly about. For the most part, not until after the event has happened. But God had me interceding for him months before he even addressed anything.

Not even just that, when I peer back into his documented history, I’ve found that we actually mirror each other a lot. In the different things we’ve posted, or that he’s posted and I’ve journaled about privately, it’s really incredible how much we mirror each other on the same days as far back as a decade, and probably even further.

And honestly, there’s more to this and it just…. it’s such a “spiritual” thing, I’m almost positive that this would be dismissed. And I’m trying to dismiss it.

There’s just so much stuff about me and this guy that goes so far back, honestly even to birth, our childhoods, where we reflect each other not just in interests, personalities, and morals, but literally in how we lived life.

Two completely different journeys and yet, seems like the same person lived both. It’s like we’re cut from the same cloth but just folded in different ways…

No I DON’T believe in the Twin Flame theory. Just like everything else in this world, this is a blatant ripoff from the Bible with a demonic twist added to it, so I DO NOT REFER TO HIM AS A TWIN FLAME.

But…. I do believe it’s possible that he’s my real Soulmate. That I could legit be his “missing rib” like Eve was for Adam…

But, I don’t know if I’ll ever find this out because…. this journey has been so rough. So hard, and I just…. I’m exhausted. Mentally, emotionally, and I want to talk about this but the topic of soulmates are so taboo and demonic to some, it’s hard to find anyone with any real answers to what it is I’m going through.

I would love to dismiss this, but it’s just like learning about Israel being predominantly the black community. No one wants to talk about that either, but it’s growing like a wildfire…

And so I wonder… about soulmates…. and if it really IS biblical? And if it is…. is God trying to lead me to mine?

I’m ready to throw this all away if I’m honest. This has gotten to be way too overwhelming to be suffering through for a man that very well may have no idea who I’m supposed to be. And it wouldn’t be his fault at all, it’s mine completely for being so oblivious and dumb.

Everyone has an idea of how God works in everything, that God is a God of order and that in everything you will have a certain level of peace and security.

But that’s just the thing… it’s according to what GOD thinks is good enough peace and security, not mine.

I mean, God said Jeremiah would be safe, but Jeremiah still got beat up, thrown in jail, and couldn’t even get married….

He was “safe”… but he still endured a LOT.

And….I honestly feel like I’m in a similar position to Jeremiah and all these other people in the Bible. I’m sure God has been sustaining me this entire time, but it’s still been an insurmountable LOT of just emotional turmoil and distress.

I want to say that it shouldn’t be like this… but…. to say God doesn’t work like this is foolish.

To think that God can’t stretch you to the thinnest, THINNEST layer of your SOUL…. is unwise. He does this all the time throughout the Bible.

Jeremiah, Ezekiel, the Apostles….. most of God’s people stayed in trouble, in shambles. Job even got tormented in his DREAMS… the man couldn’t even SLEEP.

13 When I say, My bed shall comfort me, my couch shall ease my complaints;

14 Then thou scarest me with dreams, and terrifiest me through visions:

15 So that my soul chooseth strangling, and death rather than my life.

16 I loathe it; I would not live alway: let me alone; for my days are vanity.

Job 7:13-16

The account of Jehoshophat, which is one of my favorite accounts in 2 Chronicles chapter 20, was about how Jerusalem was about to be attacked and Jehoshophat was FEARFUL because he just felt that they would be defeated. He cried out to God and lol, God told Jehoshophat not to worry, that He would fight for them.

After a full day of praise, Jehoshophat literally walked to the battlefield the next day to find all of his enemies DEAD. My man walked away from a battle he didn’t have to fight with THREE DAYS worth of RICHES lol.

14 Then upon Jahaziel the son of Zechariah, the son of Benaiah, the son of Jeiel, the son of Mattaniah, a Levite of the sons of Asaph, came the Spirit of the Lord in the midst of the congregation;

15 And he said, Hearken ye, all Judah, and ye inhabitants of Jerusalem, and thou king Jehoshaphat, Thus saith the Lord unto you, Be not afraid nor dismayed by reason of this great multitude; for the battle is not yours, but God’s.

16 To morrow go ye down against them: behold, they come up by the cliff of Ziz; and ye shall find them at the end of the brook, before the wilderness of Jeruel.

17 Ye shall not need to fight in this battle: set yourselves, stand ye still, and see the salvation of the Lord with you, O Judah and Jerusalem: fear not, nor be dismayed; to morrow go out against them: for the Lord will be with you.

18 And Jehoshaphat bowed his head with his face to the ground: and all Judah and the inhabitants of Jerusalem fell before the Lord, worshipping the Lord.

19 And the Levites, of the children of the Kohathites, and of the children of the Korhites, stood up to praise the Lord God of Israel with a loud voice on high.

20 And they rose early in the morning, and went forth into the wilderness of Tekoa: and as they went forth, Jehoshaphat stood and said, Hear me, O Judah, and ye inhabitants of Jerusalem; Believe in the Lord your God, so shall ye be established; believe his prophets, so shall ye prosper.

21 And when he had consulted with the people, he appointed singers unto the Lord, and that should praise the beauty of holiness, as they went out before the army, and to say, Praise the Lord; for his mercy endureth for ever.

22 And when they began to sing and to praise, the Lord set ambushments against the children of Ammon, Moab, and mount Seir, which were come against Judah; and they were smitten.

23 For the children of Ammon and Moab stood up against the inhabitants of mount Seir, utterly to slay and destroy them: and when they had made an end of the inhabitants of Seir, every one helped to destroy another.

24 And when Judah came toward the watch tower in the wilderness, they looked unto the multitude, and, behold, they were dead bodies fallen to the earth, and none escaped.

25 And when Jehoshaphat and his people came to take away the spoil of them, they found among them in abundance both riches with the dead bodies, and precious jewels, which they stripped off for themselves, more than they could carry away: and they were three days in gathering of the spoil, it was so much.

2 Chronicles 20:14-25

I know what pastors and churches say, but when reading the Bible, it’s hard to expect that God won’t let you go through struggles.

And I mean SEVERE struggles, the kind that leave you looking like a crazy old bum out of your mind in need of being diagnosed of a mental disorder.

Everyone says that God won’t have you out here looking crazy but according to who? Cause the Bible I’M reading got a LOT of people out here looking foolish…. so foolish, they’re being thrown in prison and jailed… and I’m feeling just like them honestly…

And it’s scary… 🥺

It’s really scary to be here sometimes. I can say one thing though, I’ve truly been relying on God this entire time…

But I’m tired now. And I’m tired because I’m not sure if I’m enduring for the right thing.

Which is why I want to know, do soulmates REALLY exist in the Bible?

The only ones I can think of is Adam and Eve. Because they weren’t married, they were yoked together. The first and ONLY perfect couple in the Bible. They are the image of what God intended relationships to look like in a PERFECT world.

Because sin crept in so soon, we don’t have a REAL idea of what a perfect companionship looks like to God.

We know how God has continued to bring examples of what kind of relationships bring honor to Him while working through imperfect men and women, but as for what God wanted the perfect relationship to be like from the very beginning….. we don’t really know

We have a glimpse. But we don’t know what a perfect relationship to God is like compared to what a holy marriage is here on earth…. and so I wonder…. is God’s idea of perfect relationships actually soulmates?

And again… if so…. did I find mine?

And why is he so hard to get to?

With as much stuff as I’ve looked up about him and myself, it’s really hard for me to think that all of these moments of reflecting each other over the past 10+ years are all just random coincidences. There are dates that match up and I really do feel like this was an ordained thing… this man has really made me believe that soulmates ACTUALLY exist.

And…. honestly, sitting here today, I really wish I wouldn’t have come across them.

But if this was really predestined, I wouldn’t have been able to escape this anyway…

The wait is hard because it’s not like I’m sitting here comfortably, twiddling my thumbs waiting to bump into him. It feels like I’m in a shipwreck.

Lol and that’s in the Bible too! Remember how Yashaya was on the stormy boat with the Apostles? And they were scared and Yashaya was asleep? Teaching the Apostles that when in a storm… you rest (thanks Pastor Jerry from RedefinedTV lol).

23 And when he was entered into a ship, his disciples followed him.

24 And, behold, there arose a great tempest in the sea, insomuch that the ship was covered with the waves: but he was asleep.

25 And his disciples came to him, and awoke him, saying, Lord, save us: we perish.

26 And he saith unto them, Why are ye fearful, O ye of little faith? Then he arose, and rebuked the winds and the sea; and there was a great calm.

27 But the men marvelled, saying, What manner of man is this, that even the winds and the sea obey him!

Matthew 8:23-27

But again… Yashaya didn’t take them out of the storm… they were still on the boat. He just made it easy to go through.

Which is where I’m at. I’m still in a boat worried about another storm coming through. I just want to get out of the boat, even though God keeps trying to calm me and reassure me that He’s going to calm the waves…

But I’m getting seasick 🤢, and I’m ready to get off this boat.

But where am I going? Into the sea with sharks and a hungry whale? Lol

This… this is not as easy as it looks. But I will say one thing, writing this out has really helped me feel better.

I still don’t know if I’m going to try to stay or not. I really feel like I’ve gone in way over my head, and I’m wading through waters not often talked about.

God really is my only resource at this moment. That’s probably how He wanted this in the first place, honestly.

Love you. Mean it!

Leave a Reply