God As My Only Resource

I feel like lately, God has been dealing with me on a new unknown sin and that is actually idolatry.

And honestly, I didn’t even realize I was doing this because I thought I had genuinely been in line and walking with God.

But in small ways it’s been bubbling forth a subtle type of idolatry. Idolatry in good things that still aren’t technically worshiping… go figure? 🥴

Idolizing things like trying to find specific foods to eat (ugh, this one has been hard… we gotta eat right?), God’s promise to me and not actually God, God’s gifts from the Holy Spirit to me and not necessarily God, even trying to interpret dreams, but relying on Christian interpreters and not necessarily God, spending a great deal listening to pastors instead of reading the Word for myself… can you see a pattern here?

Little children, keep yourselves from idols. Amen.

1 John 5:21

I haven’t named a single thing that’s inherently a bad thing to do. The problem is that all these things have slowly been elevating themselves over The One who even made these things possible in my life to begin with.

Ya’ll, I am my most grateful that the Gospel of Jesus Christ is about REPENTANCE and not perfection! Lol

So here I am, exposing myself yet again…. what else is new? 🤣

You really think you’re making God your utmost and only resource even when you’re doing good things and God is just steady subtly convicting you with the Holy Spirit lol.

Well, how did I come to this conclusion then?

It started out with a dream I had this morning. I won’t delve into it, but ultimately half the dream I felt I understood, the other half was still left I in the air as to whether it was even from God or not.

I always pray over my dreams every morning no matter what, whether I remember them or not. But I’ve also gotten into the habit of searching out Christian biblical dream interpretations on symbols that are available just to try and gain more insight.

God actually did start leading me to these dream interpreters early on regarding dreams that I clearly wasn’t understanding correctly, and I kept having similar dreams with the same symbols. Buuuuuut, I think it goes without saying that I just established these interpreters as MY interpreters when now I’m beginning to see… that’s not the case and thus I have started idolizing it.

Sometimes I feel like God still does draw me to specific interpreters for things, but I need to get back to just praying to God and waiting for HIM to give me the meaning behind it instead of just constantly searching it out (and probably confusing myself more) on my own.

The Holy Spirit just brought back to mind recently, I wasn’t feeling well. Cramps, you know the drill lol.

When it had initially started, I had took 2 ibuprofen. Obviously, that wore off after a few hours, but by that time, I didn’t want to have to take anymore meds despite my stomach KILLING me.

At that point I just prayed for God to relieve me of these cramps so I wouldn’t have to take anymore medication, and would you believe the cramps stopped just like that? I mean I was still going through the whole shark week, but with little to no pain.

What I’m saying is that it showed me…

God truly is our first and last resource.

I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end, the first and the last.

Revelation 22:13

Whether He guides us to someone or something with an answer, or gives it directly, He is our One Stop Shop.

When God gives me dreams, He is the first one to be sought after, not a Christian dream interpreter. The interpreter might give me an interpretation that’s meant for someone else. God might even choose to lead me to ANOTHER dream interpreter.

God isn’t trying to keep me from eating, but there’s things about food nowadays that He is trying to protect me from. I had a whole ordeal yesterday about some fast food I had purchased lol.

And obviously, God loves that I’m so interested in the calling He has placed on my life. But do I love it more than the One who gave it to me in the first place?

God wants and WILL fulfill His promises to me. But am I valuing the promise more than the One whose making it happen? And who will inevitably bring it into reality?

It kind of just goes to show how deeply rooted these things can really be. Pride and idolatry can take root even when you ARE trying to live a Godly life.

Sin knows no bounds!

That’s why we now live a life of Repentance, not one of Perfection.

Nothing on this planet will be perfected until Armageddon is over and done with. We should constantly be striving to deny ourselves, be made new, and imitate our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

And with the help of the Holy Spirit, it gets easier. He makes it so that you stumble a lot less.

But yeah… that’s all I wanted to blab about. How’s your Saturday going?

I’m actually observing the Sabbath today! God low key had me get prepped for it yesterday lol. I have been unofficially observing it for a few weeks now, but this time I’m trying to be a little more intentional about it. 🙂

But let me go… before this blog becomes an idol… badumtschhhhh!

Love you. Mean it!

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