Haaaa, apparently I just feel like getting on here convicting myself today, eh?
I’ve been trying to read and study through 1 Corinthians lately, and yesterday, the Holy Spirit nudged me to download the Strong’s Concordance app on my phone. Just to start expanding my Bible reading some more, I suppose.
So today, I was prompted to look into the chapter of 1 Corinthians 13, where I looked up the word “charity” and was brought to the number G26.
I never knew that Charity translated to “Agape” in Greek.
So, the Holy Spirit prompted me to do a little more digging into what Agape love truly is.
I had always heard it growing up, and just understood it as unconditional love. Which, in a way, is true. But only partly so… as I’m now beginning to realize.
Agape love is the love of God.
4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
8 Love never ends.1 Corinthians 13:4-8a
It is not something you just suddenly feel, it is a pattern, a life even, of making the conscious choice to put the best interest of others ahead of yourself.
No matter how much they may hurt you and make you cry, intentional or not. Regardless of how exhausted and drained you are and how hard it is to invest even more time and energy into them.
It is not about seeking your own comfort, assurance of peace and rest, or goodness but in fact, seeking that for others.
You often hear over and over again about how God sent Jesus to die on the cross. And honestly, I hate to say it but does hearing it over and over again start to make light of how legitimately painful that was?
In the situation I’m in now… it already feels hard and unbearable, and all God is really asking for me to do is to pray and hold onto them.
And… in comparison to God sacrificing His son for a world that still would contain a plethora of people who hated Him… it really drives home to just how little God is asking of us. To simply believe in Him, trust Him.
He wants to bestow upon us a gift so precious and beautiful that not a single one of us on earth here truly deserve.
For God is love. He’s Just… don’t forget that lol. But He is still love, that is the very nature of Him.
He who does not love does not know God, for God is love.1 John 4:8
I think to myself sometimes, that had it not been for God inviting me to draw closer and closer to Him, could I still love, pray and sacrifice all that I already have for these people on my own accord?
And it’s clear that… I could not.
It is the Holy Spirit that dwells in me that holds onto them when I, in my fleshly desire, want to do nothing more than to give up and let go. Be done with it, and let whatever happens to them… happen.
Can you hear the subtle evil behind that seemingly harmless action?
True Love is not my nature at all, is what I’m beginning to see. The love I started out with was very carnal and self seeking, whether I realized it or not.
It genuinely is only through God’s Grace that I am learning and experiencing His love for me that I am able to exercise this love to others.
… and it ain’t as easy as it sounds lol.
Yesterday, I had gotten so downtrodden and discouraged and the Holy Spirit invited me to pray about it, to leave all my anxieties and worries at His feet.
But I literally sat there for like 10 minutes and ultimately said, “God… leave what at Your Feet? The same worries I left at Your Feet yesterday? I just don’t know what to pray for…I feel like I’m repeating myself.”
I went to sleep shortly after that, and then I got up this morning at 3am. Lol and as soon as I entered into prayer, the Holy Spirit said to me “go ahead and pray the same prayer“.
Which I did, tears and all lol.
I suppose in my head, I wanted to give up because I wasn’t seeing much of anything, but see, God and I live in two different realms. He obviously knows more than I do and I don’t know why that never hits me when I’m having these moments. That’s the carnal in me I guess lol.
Then, I read the final verse in that chapter. 1 Corinthians 13:13…
And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.1 Corinthians 13:13
I had read some commentary on the King James Bible site and a perspective on this really hit home on why Love was the most important.
When we get to heaven, hope and faith won’t matter because everything we’re believing for now will have come true. There won’t be a need to have hope or to have faith… but what we will still have…
… is Love.
We will have Perfect Love. We can perfectly love God and each other. We will experience and exercise true Agape Love.
So why wouldn’t God start instilling that quality into us now? His true character, His very nature…
Just some things I’ve been thinking and reflecting on. It’s turning out to be a very deep and reflective day huh? Lol
Love you…. and I genuinely mean that. 🙂